Saturday, February 19, 2011

What the World Cup means to non-cricketing fraternity

Cometh 2011, and the whole CricketNation is ready for the biggest event in 4 years. Cricket fans all over the world have been waiting for this big event. But, in all this euphoria, some non-cricketing people from the cricket crazy nations seem to take a big beating. Here's my biggest attempt to step out of my shoes, throw it into the deepest oceans, and find some such people's shoe(s) and look into their lives during these terrible times.

Most girls are wondering what all this craze is about. "It is just a game yaar! 22 people will throw and chase one ball for 7 hours! Look at their uniforms! I wore better dress for fancy dress competition in my 8th Std annual fancy dress competition! And I won it! India hasn't won the cup in 3 decades, I won is less than 2 decades! I love Sonu Nigam, he is a good singer, you know! I watch his all the 17 TV programs that he comes on every week! But, why was he singing in English for the world cup opening song? See? World Cup is ruining him too! I'm happy the world cup is not on set max and sony! I can watch all the reality shows! hey, Raina is cute, na? (giggle giggle... and her friend says, 'no re, Kohli!!')"

And we move into another household to look at a typical Indian mother. She returns from her work at 4 pm, and awaits the arrival of her son from school. "Arrey this Bunty! All day 'world cup, world cup'... When I tell him to win the school science quiz cup, he will not study one bit, but now he is jumping like a monkey for some cup! Cricket matches go on ever day na, then why all this drama only now? When husband comes, he will sit in front of the idiot box and join Bunty. I have to remind him to remove his shoes and socks. Arrey babba! If India lose a match, I don't want to face any of these two, they become so angry. Our TV is lucky it survived so many Indian losses! I have to pray to God that India don't lose any game this world cup. My heart can't stand any more such atyachaar! One slightly good thing that happens when teir favourite team loses is that I get to watch some better programs on TV! They play the Dev Anand movie on Zee TV na, I so love his smile! Evaporates my anger."

Well, not all kids are cricket fans. This boy, X, is a football fan who bumps into the hyperactive cricket fan, Y.
X -" cricket world cup is over-hyped! it will lose the fizz in 6 weeks, you see!"
Y -" ya right, what do you know about cricket?"
X- " I know enough to say that it can't even feature 32 great teams for one main event. having 10 teams itself makes it boring enough! so long a tournament!"
Y- " You have no idea! You're such a loser! What do footballers do? they will play for some unheard 'club' in some unheard country and play just 2 or 3 games for their country. Cricketers take pride in playing for their country!"
X- " Your geography knowledge is zero! Footballers earn much more than the cricketers ever can!"
Y -" Oye, have your heard about IPL? Players earn $ 2.4m in 6 weeks in IPL!"
X -" ha! Footballers earn than in 6 weeks too, and play like that 6 more times an year! You do the math"
Y, thinking...then screams " Oye, people, X says cricket is a pathetic game and football is number one game!"
And then a crowd of angry cricket fanatics pour in and poor little X has to flee from the scene. Y gives him a champion-like look, standing straight, arms crossed around his chest, eyes glaring in X's direction!

All sports goods shop have a problem of their own. "See, I bought all the sports goods last week. All the cricketing gears have been bought in a jiffy. And look at all these other things lying around. Hockey sticks, basketballs, shin guards, dumb-bells... No one ever comes to buy them at all! The companies are not ready to deliver more cricket goods to my shop for another week, as they have delivery orders elsewhere. And companies that deliver other goods are angry at me because i'm unable to sell the other goods! Cricket has been in India for a century, why didn't they buy goods that time? Hockey is our national sport, but no one comes to buy them. See? there is a spider net over it! That's how much people have ignored other sports now! They don't even want to exercise! They just want to play cricket! God save these people! All these world cups are difficult times for us!"

Well, being in a cricket-loving oountry takes a toll on other people. Very soon, we will have cricket lovers from all aroud the world centering their gravity towards one occasion - the ICC World Cup 2011! Caribbean musicians will match the Lankan musicians beat to beat. Indian, Pakistani and B'deshi fans will have their notions echoing across the lengths of the grounds in (atleast) as many as 18 different languages. The Barmy Army will take a one-on-one battle against "the Kangaroos" from Down Under. The Proteas will show their Pure Proteas love every time the SA step onto the field, especially if a Friday, the Pure Proteas Day. It's going to be a buzz!

So, all you pretty girls who want to watch Roadies, or you dudes who want to watch EPL, or you mamas wanting to watch the old classics or others who take no interest in the game, try to get involved! Now, the world stops and cricket runs.

Bringeth ye World Cup!

Now, allow me to end the post. I've to now look for those shoes of mine which I threw into the ocean!


  1. Hey, this is a great article. reflection of truth. Hilarious and enjoyable. Great Work !!

  2. I would be glad if you could please write more about the "Football vs Cricket" issue.

    NB:Cricket should be in the winning side.

  3. ha ha :-) . I could, but had to make long things short :-P

  4. Awesome post this one is.. completely loved it.. :) True spirit of a cricket fan.. :)